


His

by ForeverHuffies



Series: Yours, and mine forever [1]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Don't Like Don't Read, Feels, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M, and mild smut, i'm pretty new at this pls, idk a cheesy love story i guess, lame, lukas is so in love, philip too, pretty gay, so much feels, um, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-09 15:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11107215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverHuffies/pseuds/ForeverHuffies
Summary: Summary? what's that? Can i eat it? Ah, i suck at this so much, but... here you go.Simply a love story between to boys, and that's all im gonna say :3English is not my first language so please be patient, and thank you <3





	1. We were both young

**Author's Note:**

> Also, thanks so much to my wonderful, super amazing friend Nami-chan, for proof reading it, you. are. the. best. ♥♥  
> She's a talented writer, and you can find her works here [Naminaee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naminaee/pseuds/Naminaee)

 

 

"Lukas, wait!"

"You have to catch me Philip!"

The two eleven-year kids were playing near the woods. It was a sunny day, they were on summer break from school, enjoying the first of many, many days of brightness and freedom from homework and studies. 

"You're taller than me, you'll always win our races!" Philip said, pouting, as he was nearing his friend. "It's not fair"

"That's no excuse! I'm sure one day you'll beat me"

He didn't regret winning though, not when Philip didn't fail to make that cute little pout every time he did. "Come here, I want to show you this" 

He dragged his friend into the woods, and Philip's eyes were shining with curiosity as they walked side by side. He had wanted to show his friend this place since he found it, and he couldn't wait anymore.

The pair met when they were five. On a warm summer day, just like this. In fact it was on this day exactly, 6 years ago, when he laid his eyes on a small, skinny kid, with brown hair and big eyes full of wonder. His stomach did funny things to him as they neared the place, hoping Philip would like it. It was a gift, after all. 

"Where are we going Lukas?" The brown-eyed boy asked. "Lukas" he tried again, when he got no response. "Are you going to talk-"

"And we're here!" 

When Philip realized where they were, taking in his surroundings, he couldn't help but gasp. They were deep in the woods, near a small lake. All green, fresh and beautiful, it was a little cabin, right in front of them. With its small windows, the smell, the sight and the warm wind, it gave you peace. 

"Luka, this is amazing! When did you find this?"

 _Luka_. That never failed to make Lukas smile. "Like a month ago, but I didn't want to bring you here till this day"

"Why today?"  The smaller boy asked, tilting his head to the side, making Lukas knees go weak for some reason.

"Because today it's been 6 years since we met!" Lukas said sheepishly, feeling a blush starting to cover his cheeks.

Philip went silent, just looking at the other boy, with something in his eyes Lukas couldn't quite grasp.  Then, the boy's face broke into a beautiful grin. His eyes were shining, as always. Always so bright, always so full of life.

It was such an angelic sight, that Lukas couldn't do anything but stare. And stare, and keep staring, until Philip ran and hugged him, so tight and warm, meanwhile Lukas’s heart was picking up the pace. Up and up, with an only increasingly red blush on his face, matching Philip's. 

_'What the hell...'_

 

 ***

 

They spent their time almost every day in that cabin. It was Lukas's favorite time in the day, when he was alone with Philip, just hanging out and playing until it got dark. His feelings only increased, and it didn't take time for him to realize that what he felt was love. 

Yes, he knew what it meant. Of course he knew. He just felt this way. And how couldn't he? It was Philip. It was impossible for him not to love him. Not with how wonderful he was, inside out. Not with how soft his hair felt, or how warm his skin was. And his big, beautiful, shining eyes that expressed so much. 

His cute, little birth mark under his lips, a place he found himself _shamelessly_ staring at lately. 

Again, how couldn't he? 

In fact, that's what he's doing right now. Missing the story Philip is telling him about his weekend in the park with his parents, just for staring at his lips as he talked. 

"-you won't believe it Lukas, it was huge- are you listening to me?" 

"What? _What?_ Of course I am! How dare you!" He pretended to be offended.

_Crap_ _._

"Oh yeah? What did I just say?"

"You...you were talking about something...about...uh..."  _Damn. Stupid, you're an idiot_. "Y'know what? I don't have to prove you anything"

"Hhmm, yes, of course" He laughed at his friend. "Just admit it already, you're just not smart enough to follow me" he joked.

Well, that was a mistake. A big mistake. One that Philip realized too late, his eyes growing big.

"Not  _smart enough_  hmmm?" Philip flinched as he turned to look at his friend. Lukas’s mischievous look said everything he needed to know: _He was screwed._

And they both knew this, just as they knew each other. They both stood slowly and stared at each other for a moment, until Philip tried to move first with no success.

"Ah, wrong move  _Phi_ " Lukas said as he grabbed the smaller boy. Throwing him back to the bed, it started. Philip’s doom. The worst thing someone could do to him. 

_The_ _tickle war._

The laughing started almost immediately, both falling on the bed they were sitting on just moments ago. Philip gave fight, not wanting to give up even though he couldn't stop laughing. 

They kept messing around until Philip ended on top of Lukas, both breathing hard, flushed to the neck and staring at each other. 

"I win" the smaller boy said proudly through pants. They stared at each other for what felt like hours. Wanting to get lost in his friends gaze, Lukas realized it held something familiar. He recognized that look. The same look he knew he had every time he looked at Philip. 

 _Longing_. 

Just like that, Lukas didn't listen anymore. Not to his head, not to anything but the boy on top of him, and his beating heart. 

"Lukas?" His friend's voice was nearly a whisper, and he realized his hand was softly touching the other's flushed cheeks. _'What on earth am I doing'_ He scolded himself, but when he tried to pull his hand away, he was stopped. 

Philip grabbed his hand and started to pull it away from his cheek, slowly. Lukas closed his eyes, feeling his world staring to break down. 'I've ruined it, I've ruined it all' 

"Luka" He said, still whispering, making the taller boy realize they were so close their noses were touching. His dumb heart wouldn't calm down, his face was hot and his whole body felt like jelly. 

"Look at me" his friend said, and that was it. When he finally fixed his eyes on the other boy, everything went clear. Clear as water, transparent as Philip's eyes, blinding as Philip's smile. Everything fit. Everything made sense. 

Everything on both sides. So, they did, naturally, what it made sense to do, like there was nothing more to do than this. Their lips met, slow, tender, chaste, pure. It stayed just like that, and it felt like the world.

It felt like they belonged.

 

*** 

 

Weeks were a blur. Of soft little kisses, and long hugs, and tender touches. 

Days were pure. Of innocent, naive words of love, and bright, true happiness no one else could ever feel outside their little world. 

Hours, minutes and seconds were quiet. Almost like time has stopped just for them to feel everything. Without missing anything.

Some nights, when Philip stayed over, they would lay on Lukas's bed, noses touching, just staring. Trying to memorize the other's face. With soft fingers brushing flushed, soft cheeks, or through wild hair. 

They were just too young, too scared, _and too foolish._  But they didn’t care.

They were just two kids, almost twelve years old, enjoying the other's presence, the other's breathing, the other's warmth. It was everything just so new and amazing, they didn’t know what else to do. They just felt, and that’s it.

It was almost like they would never need something else, like anyone or anything could separate them. Almost like they were going to stay together forever.

Almost. 

They were thirteen when their little world fell apart. They kept it as a secret so well until now. Knowing no one would understand. 

It took just a slip. Less than a minute, when they couldn't stop kissing. When things started to get heated. They wouldn't break apart just for one second when Lukas’s father opened the door. Both laying on the bed, lips red and flushed faces.

There was just a minute of silence, and then the shouting began. 

So much screaming and punching and dragging and crying.  _So much crying_ _._

Lukas tried to shield Philip from the rage of his father, holding him tight, but it was useless. Their last hug was forcibly ended by two pair of hands. 

Lukas began seeing red as they dragged Philip away, slapping him, shaking him.  He remembers Philip panicked voice calling him, begging him to not let go. He felt so useless. Unable to save his other half as his father held him against his will. He kicked, shouted and punched, but nothing worked.

The last thing he saw of Philip was his scared, desperate face with his eyes big and red from crying. The last memory he has, are his lover lips silently moving and saying _'I love you'_ for the first time ever. And then he was out of sight, leaving Lukas alone with his broken heart.

He will never forget it. That he never could tell him those words back, no matter how much he wanted. And  _oh, how he wanted_. But he couldn't. Not once, since he never saw his Philip ever again after that.

 


	2. I'll be waiting

 

It was nice outside, and a tall blonde boy was enjoying probably the last warm day of the year, when his father came with two bottles of fresh soda.

“It’s a good day today” The older man said, handing one of the bottles to his son.

“Yeah, it’s nice” Lukas said, taking a little sip. “I’ll say I’m not too excited to get back to school”

“It’ll be the last time, son. And then you’ll be off to New York and starting college” Bo said, looking at him with a hint of proudness in his eyes. “You got into one of the best colleges in the city, so I’m expecting good grades, understood?”

 

_Lukas gasped when he felt a slap at his face. Every hit harder than the last._

_“I will_ not _have one of those in my house, understood!?”_

_“Please-“ Another slap made him fall._

 

“Understood?” Lukas looked at him.

“Of course dad, I won’t let you down” He smiled at his father. “Not again”.  _Calmed, collected, perfect._

Time goes fast when you're happy. When all you can do is stay still and think just how lucky you are for having the best thing in the world just for you.

That's what Lukas was doing, staying still, admiring and being happy. Too busy to realize the danger. He’d lost everything. Lost his love, his soulmate, the only light of his life. Lost count of all the times he cried, and all he could feel was pain and his face always wet from tears.

Still, all he did now was smile. Why? How could he smile all the time after what he had experienced? Well, because by smiling, and laughing and pretending everything was okay, he could be free. For five long years all he did was lie. About what he did and about what he felt, with himself and with everyone else. He had to be good, act and do everything his father wanted, so he could find his way to freedom.

 His life pretty much sucked, but for  _him..._ for him he would do anything. Handle every hit, every kick and every harsh word from his father. Every kiss he didn't really want from the girl who was his girlfriend. Every lie, every smile and laugh burned his heart, and cried all of that pain in the privacy of his room. He had no one to talk to, no one to understand, no one to reach out to and that made him feel so lonely. But he endured it all, and he would do it again and again, only if that meant to see his love again. Because in this fucked up life, in this fucked up world, all that mattered was Philip. He's so close to start looking, to finally find him, to kiss and be kissed and hug and be hugged. So close to be all he wanted to be.

He just had to hold up a little longer, and all this loneliness would soon be over.

 

***

 

 

 Philip was being hugged again by his mom, in the room that would be his for the next few years. He held her tight and tried not to cry again.

“I’ll miss you mom” He said, though he couldn’t help this feeling he hadn’t felt for a long time. Painful years full of loneliness. All these years behaving himself, being careful with what he says, and being the perfect son. He held back for so long, and he was finally out of his father’s eyes. Out of that place to start a new life. 

Oh, how he'll never forget that place. The night that still haunted him. He never wanted to feel such pain again. Both physical and emotional, but mostly physical. He's sure he'll have those bruises forever. And that's why, all these years he acted like he didn't exist. Well, when he  _could,_ and when his father was in a good mood.

That's why he felt hopeful, too. Sure, his father could still reach him, but he had no reason to do so anymore. He's older, an adult now. It's his mother that worried him.

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself, honey” His mother steps back and holds his cheeks, cleaning his face from tears he didn’t notice till then. “I’m happy we were able to get this room for you, no one will bother you here”

_‘You’ll be safe’._

“I will mom, and I’ll call you every time I’m able to, okay?” It was hard for him to say goodbye to her. Especially since she would be back at home, alone with  _him._ He shivered. He knows his mother is strong, and his father never did anything too serious to her, but his temper would win sometimes, and he was worried _. He_ _knows_ his temper alittle too much“You have to promise me you’ll take care of yourself too, mom” he pleaded, grabbing her hands.

“Yes honey, don’t worry about me” She smiles, and he feels so warm inside. He will miss her so much.

“I will always worry” Damn, he will not start to cry again.

One last hug, a kiss on his forehead, and she was gone.

For the first time, after five long years, he was finally alone, and completely free.

_‘I made it, I’m free, finally’_. He should feel happy, he thinks. But he can’t ignore this lingering ache in his chest anymore. He felt it for years, and it still hurts so badly. This burning love that he still feels. All those years only thinking of him, of what would be doing, if he's sad, if he's happy, if he'd moved on-

He can't keep thinking like this, this only makes him feel sadness all the time. Knowing he probably doesn't think about him the same way, that he might have become a distant memory, of a time where Lukas was happy. He knows he has to forget, or at least try, but he can't. Or maybe he doesn't want to, not when he feels so much hope now that he can do whatever he wants.

Almost like there's something that keeps him from doing what he has to do.

_Hold on._

He sighs, and starts unpacking to keep his mind busy. He starts college tomorrow and he has to focus. Maybe that way his head won’t make him suffer too much. He can only hope.

He will just keep lying to himself, ignoring that tiny, little light of hope in his chest, and the words he just can’t get out of his mind.

_‘Just a little longer’_

 

***

 

_  
_ It was early when Lukas woke up.

He dreamt of Philip. He _always_ dreamt of Philip, but never could remember those dreams, no matter how much he tried. Sometimes, he would awake with tears in his eyes, and an ache in his chest when he had a nightmare. However he would always get up and out a smile on his lips to face the day. Always feelings stronger with every day he could cross out in the calendar.

And today it was the last. He almost cried in relief when he saw the red mark on the date.

It was still too early when he got in the car, since there still were a few stars in the sky. But Lukas couldn't bring himself to care. All the way to the airport he kept smiling and talking with his dad, but his mind was so far away already.

He soon was about to board on the plane, and the goodbyes were awkward. His father tried to hug him but it ended with a light pat on his shoulder. Told him to take care of himself, and then Lukas left, for good.

He still couldn't believe it. He was finally free from everything. His father, his now ex-girlfriend, who's name he'll forget. He left and he's not coming back again.

The flight was pretty long, but he was so happy he didn't care. Since all he did was think about Philip, and his smile, and wondering how all he'd grow or if he still has that cute gap between his front teeth, he didn't notice when he arrived. For the next few stressful hours he kept going and coming, until he found himself in his new room with all his belongings. He had a roommate, but he wasn't there yet. 

He knew he had to sleep if he wanted to get up early tomorrow, but he just felt so eager. He couldn't wait to start looking for him. He actually searched for so long, and found out the city and an address, but when he went one day the place was abandoned. That left him with one last clue, which was this university. He remembers seeing that jar in Philip's house every time he crossed the hallway to Philip's room. It was made of glass and it had written 'Philip NYU' in big black letters. 

He worked so hard to get in, even though he knew it was a pretty small chance he'd find him here, but it was all he had. Tomorrow he would go to information and look for him, so all he could do now was wish for the best. And even if he wasn't here, he would never stop, not when he's so close.

And once he finds him, he'll never let go again.

 

***

 

 

_“Philip” He heard a sweet voice calling him. But he couldn’t. He simply didn’t. “Philip, honey” A hand touched him, caressing his shoulder._

_“I can’t, mom”_

_He was lying on his new bed, in a_ _freaking_ _apartment, far away from the only boy he knows he’ll ever love. He hated everything in that place. His room, his bed, his_ _father. His voice shattered when he said those words, and started crying again. He felt a dull pain in his chest. Breathing sharply, he tried to calm himself but he couldn’t._ _Didn’t want to._

_His mother couldn’t say anything, so she just held him until he calmed down a bit._

_She felt helpless, too. Her beloved son was hurting in one of the worst possible ways and she couldn’t do anything to fix it. She hated those tears coming from those usually happy eyes, but she was afraid._

_Because that’s what Philip’s father does to them. He makes them feel afraid all the time._

_Hearing a sharp intake of breath, sympathy for this boy filled her, and she felt her own tears starting to come out._

_“Everything will be okay, hun” She said, even though it seemed like a painful lie. There, in his small room, they both stayed together until Philip fell asleep. He looked so peaceful then, but she knew better._

_Anne was only hoping for the best. She believed in destiny, and knew her Philip and Lukas were something else. When she saw them together, every time, she could see it. That doesn’t just go away, it won’t, even though the mother in her wishes his son would forget everything now, so he doesn’t feel this kind of pain anymore._

_“It doesn’t work like that, baby, but I swear you’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it, I’ll do my best” She kissed his forehead, and got out of his son’s room, not forgetting to leave the night light on._

Philip woke up to find himself in complete darkness. He quickly got up and started to look for the light switch frantically, trying to not lose his mind.

_‘Too dark, too fucking dark I can’t-‘_ he found it just when his breathing started to increase. Looking around, he found he was in his new room. His father wasn’t here. He couldn’t scare him with the dark anymore. Still, that didn’t stop the tears from coming out.

He sat on the floor, covering his face and breathing harshly, wishing he could get over this. Forget how much his father broke him, how much of a mess he is because of him. The tears wouldn’t stop, and he was glad he was alone for the night.

Looking out the window, he started to calm down. He loved seeing the sky, and from this room he had such an amazing view. But it also reminded him of how alone he was.

“Luka…” His name sounded so different with his voice now that he’s older. But it never stopped feeling so right. With new tears streaming down his face, he let himself think a little more about him. His voice, his hair, his eyes… him. The only one who will make him feel complete again.

_‘I need you… where are you?’_

 

***

 

It wasn’t that easy.

A week later, he realized that. How freaking hard is to find someone in this place.

He wasn’t  _anywhere_. Almost like he didn’t exist. He found out where he moved by his family name, but Philip didn’t have an accounts on any social media, and this University was too damn big. He couldn’t find any information about him, and soon he found himself starting his classes, which left him with little time in the day to do much. He wasn't panicking though, he knew he had more chances to find him now, but he still felt afraid. His breathing would increase sometimes, and he always calmed himself thinking about Philip when he felt desperate.

Weeks passed by fast, and his anxiety only grew but he didn’t let that stop him. He kept looking, searching, hoping. Philip was there, he knew it. He kept going to find a computer in the library every time he could, and leave later than anyone. Searching again and again, he had to be here, he had to-

“How long will you be sitting there?” A voice whispers in his ear, making him fall off the chair. He looks up to find a skinny girl smiling down at him.

“Shit, Rose, don’t scare me like that!” He says getting up, annoyed when she starts laughing.

Rose is his classmate, he met her in his history lesson, and found out they share almost every class. They became friends quickly, after Lukas asked her for her notes and she made him write his own, not going easy on him once after that. It was a nice friendship, and Lukas could tell she was real. The first real thing in his life in a long time after Philip.

“Well, it’s late, and you’re here all alone, studying on  _Friday_  night” She defends herself. “Did I break you that bad?”

“What can I say, you’ve made a monster” He jokes, turning off the computer.  _‘Tomorrow will be another day’_.

He didn’t really tell her about what he does in his time in the library. He doesn’t feel ready to share that with her yet. “What are you doing here anyways?”

“I’m here because I need someone to eat with me, since my roommate left me all by myself” She sighs dramatically, making Lukas smile at her.

“So, I’m your replacement, I see. Is she aware of the kind of roommate she has?” He says, pretending to be offended. “I’m no one’s second choice, I’m sorry” he keeps going. He hasn’t enjoyed a conversation in so long, he feels himself relaxing a bit.

“Aww, come one, you know you’re my favorite guy!” She giggles. “And I like you just like that, gay and all!”

That surprises Lukas, making him look at her with wide eyes.

‘ _What the- oh my god...’_

He stood there looking at her for a while. Frozen in his place, he couldn't find himself feeling scared. Back at home, he would have panicked, but he felt so comfortable here. He went silent, and she kept looking at him with patience, waiting. In her eyes, Lukas could find everything he needed all these years. Reassurance, tolerance and  _acceptance_.

Because of that, he wasn’t afraid. He knew he didn’t have to feel scared about her finding out. She kept smiling at him as a smile slowly started to form on his own face, leading to a little giggle, and then a full, real laugh. She started laughing too, and they didn’t stop until they had tears in their eyes.

_‘It’s okay. I’m okay’_ He reminded himself. And okay, maybe she’s the most amazing girl he’s met.

“You’re very observant” He said after some time.

“And you’re in love” She says, surprising him once more. He wonders if she’ll keep doing that from now on. “It’s easy to tell, Lukas” She keeps going “You have that look. Sometimes sad, sometimes hopeful, and so full of life” As she talks, he remembers. He knows it, because that’s what Philip does to him. “It’s like… the most wonderful thing I’ve seen, and I hope you can find him again”

Lukas is overwhelmed. Of course he knows that, but is he that easy to read? He smiles to himself, then.  _‘It’s Philip’_. He became like that because of him. He made him that way, he gave him hope, life and love.

When he looks at her again, she’s still smiling. He feels so warm inside, but it’s different from the warm he feels from Philip. He smiles at her, too, and knows he just got a new, wonderful friend.

It’s late when Lukas decides to go to sleep. And after eating something at the campus cafeteria, they decide to go to their respective dorms.

 

***

 

 “Goodbye blondie, sleep well!” She waves at her friend as he waves her back. She’s about to get inside when her phone starts ringing.  _‘Who would call this late?’_ When she sees it’s just her roommate, she answers.

“Well hello there, I thought you were busy tonight?” She says.

“Yeah but I finished early, so I wanted to tell you I’m in our room if you want to see a movie”

“Ah, now you come crying to me, when you have nothing better to do huh?” She jokes, climbing on the stairs as she talks. Her friend laughs at her, and tells her to stop being dramatic when she reaches the door. She gets in her room and finds a small boy, with wild, brown hair looking at her and holding a phone to his ear.

He smiles at her as she closes the door. He’s in comfortable clothes, a popcorn bowl in his lap, and a laptop in front of him.

“Hey Rose” He says lifting the bowl, while she throws herself on the bed beside him.

“Hey Philip!” She says cheerfully, getting comfortable. “So… a movie it is?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long >.<
> 
> Thank you for the comments it makes me really happy ♥♥♥ you are so great aaaaah.
> 
> Thank you my dear dear Nami-chan, you're so amazing ♥

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit, you actually made it. Thank you so much for reading, it means a lot!!! ♥  
> Thank you again, Nami, you're the best ♥


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